10 Things You Should Know If You’re Always Helping People

10. Help for the right reasons.

Don’t help for the wrong reasons. Your help shouldn’t be coupled with ulterior motives, deceitfulness, vanity or selfishness. Your help should only be offered if you have a genuine desire to do so.

9. Know when to stop helping.

Although helping others is often considered a life calling, you have to know when to stop helping a person who isn’t deserving. No matter how good your advice is and no matter what help you have to offer, people only accept help when they’re ready and sometimes it’s never. You can only help those who help themselves.

8. Be aware of users.

Unfortunately, helpful people often attract a sizable amount of people who take advantage of their helpful nature.  The best way to spot a user is to pay close attention to the way they reciprocate their gratitude.

7. Allow someone to help you.

The biggest hurdle you may encounter as a helper is the willingness to accept help. Even the most helpful and giving people need a person to get them through life’s hurdles. Accepting someone’s help can be an uncomfortable feeling and it may take some getting use to, but know when to accept help without feeling guilty or unworthy.

6. Helping doesn’t mean sacrificing your happiness.

It’s so easy to get caught up in helping others that your own happiness can suffer. It’s possible to help people without putting your happiness on the back burner. Being a help to someone should never mean putting your happiness on hold.

5. Don’t enable unhealthy behavior.

As a helper, you will encounter people who continuously make poor choices. It is important to remember that there’s a thick line between helping and enabling and these differences should be noted. Don’t use your helpful nature as an excuse to allow people’s unhealthy behaviors.

4. Know when to walk away.

It’s not always easy knowing when to walk away from a toxic person who constantly needs and wants your help, but it is important to know when to walk away. If helping turns into a stressful and difficult task, take that as a sign to walk away.

3. Help people who appreciate you. 

Being a constant help to those around you can be a very arduous task, especially if it leaves you feeling unappreciated and used. Remember to only help those who appreciate your efforts and reciprocate those efforts when you’re in need of a helping hand.

2. Practice self-care.

Practicing self-care is one of the most important things you can do if you’re a helper. Don’t neglect your needs by always putting yourself last because you’re too busy with other people’s problems. Sometimes you have to say “No” and put yourself first no matter how uncomfortable it may feel.

1. Don’t avoid working on your issues to help others.

It’s easy to avoid your issues when you’re helping other people. Sometimes, without even realizing it, helpers will surround themselves with other people’s problems to shift the focus off their issues. Constantly helping others can often act as a measure of avoidance when working on yourself seems too daunting.

#HelpWisely


All articles shared on http://www.muffiebradshaw.com are original pieces written by Muffie Bradshaw unless otherwise stated. Don’t re-blog without the props!

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About Muffie Bradshaw, Dating Coach

Muffie Bradshaw is an award-winning relationship blogger and dating coach who has been seen on The Steve Harvey Show. Other works include online magazines including, but not limited to, singleblackmale.org and womensforum.com. With many relationship experiences, including breakups, dating successes and disasters, Muffie knows firsthand the mistakes women should avoid when going through the ups and downs of dating. Through her writing and coaching services, Muffie specializes in helping women reach a higher level of understanding regarding their dating lives through self-assuring decision making techniques, self-reflection and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) inspired methods.

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